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Divorce Counseling Phoenix AZ

Regardless of whether children grow up in one home or two, parents provide a model for conducting important relationships. Part of every important relationship is mutual respect, civilized interaction, problem solving and conflict resolution, compromise, appreciation and gratitude, patience and forgiveness. Read on for more.
Ms. Anna Valenti-Anderson
SANE Resources
623-695-0064
2400 E. Arizona Biltmore Circle Bldg 4, Ste 2430
Phoenix, AZ
Ms. Shannon Spellman
Veritas Counseling Center, LLC
602-863-3939
10640 N. 28th Drive, Suite B-202
Phoenix, AZ
Ms. Michelle Wolfgram
602-769-1170
5040 E Shea Blvd Suite 268
Scottsdale, AZ
Bobette S Siegel, MSW,, LCSW
480-948-6222
15849 N. 71st Street Suite 100 Scottsdale, AZ 85254
Scottsdale, AZ
The Life Management Center
480-706-8137
3941 EAST Chandler Boulevard, Suite 267
Phoenix, AZ
Ms. Susan Daubenbis
602-550-8101
2942 N. 24th Street Suite 114
Phoenix, AZ
Ms. Judith McHale
Judith McHale, M.A.Ed., LPC
602-953-5208
3420 East Shea Boulevard Suite 215
Phoenix, AZ
Ms. Heidi Sonntag
Heidi Sonntag, LCSW
480-236-1432
9929 No. 95th Street, Suite 101
Scottsdale, AZ
Mrs. Lynn Barinbaum
Lynn Barinbaum LCSW
480-946-1610
8149 N. 87th Place Suite 203
Scottsdale, AZ
Mr. Reuben Osollo
R Osollo Counseling
480-206-8295
10613 N. Hayden RD Building J-100
Scottsdale, AZ
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11 Quick Questions about Divorce

11 Quick Questions About Divorce


1. How does the quality of one's relationship with their ex-spouse influence the psychological adjustment of their children?

Regardless of whether children grow up in one home or two, parents provide a model for conducting important relationships. Part of every important relationship is mutual respect, civilized interaction, problem solving and conflict resolution, compromise, appreciation and gratitude, patience and forgiveness. When parents model angry, selfish and bitter interaction with one another, their children learn that these disrespectful behaviors are the protocol for how people should be treated. It is no wonder that children from high conflict divorce have a higher incidence of failed relationships later in life. I believe this is why.

2. You write, "Smart parenting is all about trading the momentary relief of venting anger and frustration at your co-parent for the benefit of raising healthier, more productive, and less stressed children." How can a parent deal with their anger in a healthy way that does not cause more pain to their children?
Break a clay pot, scream into a pillow, make a voodoo doll out of modeling clay. Do what ever you want (as long as it is legal and outside of your children's presence) but do not expose your children to toxic emotion. Oh yes, and read my book.

3. How can a person de-escalate the conflict between themselves and their ex-spouse?

It takes two people to fight. The key to de-scalation is ignoring insult and offering reasonable compromises. This takes practice because often, in poor co-parenting relationships people cannot resist the urge to fight fire with fire. Actually to continue the imagery, it is best to fight fire with water. Parents often ask, "Why shoud I give the co-parent what he/she wants?" The answer to this is "because when you can, and when it doesn't much matter one way or the other (i.e. an extra few minutes here and there) the reduction in conflict benefits the kids."

4. What is the "package" that can make a difference in the quality of communication between the ex-spouses?

Resist the urge to "dig" or "poke" with sarcasm and direct insults. Understand that if you hate the co-parent, it is more difficult to love the part of your child that came from the co-parent. Take relief in the fact that any communication you have with the co-parent has a beginning and an end (at least for the moment) and when the contact is over you don't have to go back home and sleep with them.

5. Can you share with us some practical tips for negotiating with a former spouse who is a jerk?
Again, realize that giving in on minor issues is not a sign of personal weakness; on the contrary it is s sign of strength. Understand that what makes people as difficult as they are is that they "enjoy the fight." Fighting, bickering and nitpicking is feeding a part of them that they enjoy -- and that most likely y...

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