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Divorce Counseling Rutland VT

Regardless of whether children grow up in one home or two, parents provide a model for conducting important relationships. Part of every important relationship is mutual respect, civilized interaction, problem solving and conflict resolution, compromise, appreciation and gratitude, patience and forgiveness. Read on for more.

Bode, Jacquelyn Psychologist
(802) 747-3488
73 Center Street
Rutland, VT
 
Kristen McEvoy
(802) 656-3340
Burlington, VT
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Supervision
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Jean Pollock
(802) 257-1047
Bennington, VT
Practice Areas
Addictions and Dependency, Clinical Mental Health, Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery
Certifications
Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Rebecca Boedges
(802) 922-2400
South Burlington, VT
Practice Areas
Career Development, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Marc Cohen
(802) 257-0319
Bennington, VT
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Rehabilitation, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Merrihew Ray, Counseling Center
(802) 775-6487
41 Burnham Ave
Rutland, VT
Hours
Mon 12:00 PM-06:00 PM;Tue 12:00 PM-06:00 PM;Wed 12:00 PM-06:00 PM;Thu 12:00 PM-06:00 PM;Fri 12:00 PM

Data Provided By:
Deborah Lowery, M.A.
(802) 254-1253
Putney Road,Ingenuity Professional Offices
Brattleboro, VT
Specialties
ADHD,Anger Management,Anxiety or Fears,Depression,Domestic Abuse or Violence,Life Coaching,OCD,Relationship Issues,Spirituality,Thinking Disorders
Education
1991 Antioch: M.A. in Counseling PsychologySeven years post grad training and supervision in Object Relations theory and practice.Certificate in Ericksonian Hypno-theoryCertificate in Level 1 Psychoneuroimmunology (like, cognitive theory)at PNI
Insurance
Yes
Membership Organizations
Center for Personal Growth

Bode, Jacquelyn Psychologist
(802) 747-3488
73 Center Street
Rutland, VT
 
Gale Holtz Golden, LICSW, BCD, Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry
(802) 864-0757
86. St. Paul Street
Burlington, VT
Specialties
Depression,Divorce,Infertility or Adoption,Loss or Grief,Relationship Issues,Sex Therapy
Education
Clinical social work degree from Bryn Mawr College graduate school of social work (1963). Postgraduate work in psychology and psychiatry at Syracuse University and Upstate Medical Center 1977-1979. Yearly continuingeducation and peer collaboration
Insurance
Yes

Elizabeth Lemaire-Jenkins
(802) 655-0585
Winooski, VT
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

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11 Quick Questions about Divorce

11 Quick Questions About Divorce


1. How does the quality of one's relationship with their ex-spouse influence the psychological adjustment of their children?

Regardless of whether children grow up in one home or two, parents provide a model for conducting important relationships. Part of every important relationship is mutual respect, civilized interaction, problem solving and conflict resolution, compromise, appreciation and gratitude, patience and forgiveness. When parents model angry, selfish and bitter interaction with one another, their children learn that these disrespectful behaviors are the protocol for how people should be treated. It is no wonder that children from high conflict divorce have a higher incidence of failed relationships later in life. I believe this is why.

2. You write, "Smart parenting is all about trading the momentary relief of venting anger and frustration at your co-parent for the benefit of raising healthier, more productive, and less stressed children." How can a parent deal with their anger in a healthy way that does not cause more pain to their children?
Break a clay pot, scream into a pillow, make a voodoo doll out of modeling clay. Do what ever you want (as long as it is legal and outside of your children's presence) but do not expose your children to toxic emotion. Oh yes, and read my book.

3. How can a person de-escalate the conflict between themselves and their ex-spouse?

It takes two people to fight. The key to de-scalation is ignoring insult and offering reasonable compromises. This takes practice because often, in poor co-parenting relationships people cannot resist the urge to fight fire with fire. Actually to continue the imagery, it is best to fight fire with water. Parents often ask, "Why shoud I give the co-parent what he/she wants?" The answer to this is "because when you can, and when it doesn't much matter one way or the other (i.e. an extra few minutes here and there) the reduction in conflict benefits the kids."

4. What is the "package" that can make a difference in the quality of communication between the ex-spouses?

Resist the urge to "dig" or "poke" with sarcasm and direct insults. Understand that if you hate the co-parent, it is more difficult to love the part of your child that came from the co-parent. Take relief in the fact that any communication you have with the co-parent has a beginning and an end (at least for the moment) and when the contact is over you don't have to go back home and sleep with them.

5. Can you share with us some practical tips for negotiating with a former spouse who is a jerk?
Again, realize that giving in on minor issues is not a sign of personal weakness; on the contrary it is s sign of strength. Understand that what makes people as difficult as they are is that they "enjoy the fight." Fighting, bickering and nitpicking is feeding a part of them that they enjoy -- and that most likely y...

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